Tuesday, March 13, 2018

The Stonewall Inn: Where History Meets The Neighbors.

How does a local bar create a movement?  What happens to that bar after said movement gains a life of its own? The historic Stonewall Inn in New York City answers these questions.  As a meeting place for the most marginalized members of the queer community, Stonewall was the stage for the 1969 riots where the queer community raised a collective voice against police brutality, and mistreatment.  This voice sang out and spawned activist groups spanning every major US City as well as several other countries and led to the first Pride Parade in 1970.  From its past as a Mafia owned establishment to its present as a privately owned, unassuming neighborhood bar, Stonewall is a living piece of LGBTQ history.
Image result for stonewall Inn
The Stonewall Inn
During the late 60’s and early 70’s gay life was very prescriptive.  Homosexuality was classified as a mental illness and in most parts of the country it was illegal to be gay.  It was common to run photos of suspected homosexuals in the paper for public shaming.  There were no civil protections in place, and gays and lesbians could lose their jobs, their homes, and their families if they were forced out of the closet.  This led to an uncompromising “uniform” among gay men, who were all to look like the Castro Clones (i.e. Freddy Mercury) and gay women were supposed to look like respectable housewives.  Any deviation from this look would lead to life as a social pariah at best.  There were no truly established gay bars, but there were private clubs like the Stonewall Inn, which was run by a mob family.  Those that did attend were forced to submit bribes and deal with blackmail and extortion.  Even with all of that the Stonewall was a haven.  It was known as “the” gay bar in New York City.
Private clubs were subject to frequent police raids.  Typically, the clubs were bribing the police to get a warning prior to the raid, so that they could minimize the impact on their business.  This was not the case in the fateful raid of Stonewall on June 28, 1969.  The club had no warning, and was invaded by a cadre of police officers, who attempted to corral the patrons.  The men were lined up and required to present identification.  Anyone dressed like a woman was taken to a restroom by a female officer and forced to prove their biological sex.  This raid drew a crowd outside from other residents of Greenwich Village and took a few errant turns from the normal raid.  Protests erupted.  Violence ensued.  The gays and the drag queens fought back against the police and the riots continued for the next few days. 
Image result for peter hujar stonewall
Photo by Peter Hujar
A year after this riot there was a commemorative march which became the first Pride Parade.  It started as people remembering what their fellow community members stood up for.  It evolved into a rally cry across the country for queer activists to take to the streets.  Within a few years, every major city in the United States had their own Pride Parade, many of which (Chicago, San Francisco, Seattle, and New York City to name a few) are scheduled for the last weekend in June to commemorate the evening at Stonewall.  Since then Pride has shifted to meet the demands of the community at any given time, from the AIDS Crisis to Marriage Equality and many other issues in between.  It still hearkens back to a time when the patrons at a local club stood up and refused to be marginalized.
Image result for Pride PArade NYC aerial
NYC Pride Parade
After the riots, The Stonewall Inn was forced to close.  Since then the physical establishment has changed many times.  The bar was sold, and the property was broken into parcels.  What was once the main bar of the Stonewall Inn, became several iterations of different eating establishments and is currently a nail salon.  Private owners bought half of the property and reopened Stonewall in the 1990’s and returned to its namesake of The Stonewall Inn in 2007.  According to Peggy, one of the bartenders there, the owners are planning on eventually buying out the nail salon next door and returning the Stonewall Inn to its former size.
Image result for stonewall inn interior
Interior of Stonewall
At a glance, there is nothing particularly spectacular about the interior of the bar.  The wood used in the décor is warm and inviting, but not particularly pristine or stylish.  On the main level there is a pool table, a tiny stage and a few bar tables.  There are some commemorative t-shirts posted above the bar that are for sale.  Upstairs is a larger stage and a second bar that is used for various shows.  When you look a little deeper the history and uniqueness start to surface.  On the main floor a “Urinal Room” and “Private Stall” serve as the restrooms for patrons.  There are newspaper clippings from the times of the riots posted on the walls.  There are original signs of “This is a Raided Premises” from the NYPD visible.  There is a recounting of the historic evening by one of the patrons who lived through that fateful raid.  Peggy mentioned that he is in his 70’s and still comes into the bar every now and again to grab a beer.
The history of the Stonewall Inn calls to people who have studied the queer civil rights movement.  Jason, a dear gay friend of mine with a degree in History, heard that call.  When he visited me from Seattle, one of his definite to do list items was to see Stonewall.  He was shocked by the fact that a place so steeped in historical significance maintained such a low-key atmosphere.  It was early afternoon on a Tuesday when Jason and I had the opportunity to chat with the bartender, Peggy.  He asked her what it was like to work in such a monumental place.  Her response was that most days it was just like working any other job.  Occasionally she would encounter people that lauded over the historical significance.  Those occasions served as a reminder to her of the weight of the venue.  We talked to her about the various events, marches and rallies that still start there, all the while enjoying two for one happy hour cocktails.  There was a visitor from Sevilla, Spain who had a friend translate “Thank you Stonewall for paving the way” into English so that he could say that to the bartender.  A couple of early twenties came in and played a few games of pool.  We observed an after-work crowd come in wearing shirts and ties.  We witnessed people taking photos of the sign out front and venturing in to read a few of the newspaper clippings on the wall, and then turn around and leave.  They saw the monumental location and that completed their visit.  We delighted in seeing gay men beside lesbians (which is surprisingly uncommon in most queer bars) and their heterosexual friends all coming together in a communal establishment.  Most of these interactions are nothing even remotely out of the ordinary in a neighborhood gay bar even though this is a place of utter historic significance for the patrons within.

As I am writing this, I am sitting at the bar in the Stonewall Inn.  I feel the weight of history within these walls.  At the same time, I feel the comfort and camaraderie of the neighborhood vibe of this bar.  If these walls could talk, what stories they would have!  Stories of a historical uprising would be balanced with stories of first dates.  Stories of drunken Monday nights playing Drag Bingo would be paired with stories of after work happy hours.  Stories from bartenders who have had bland days would be matched with stories of visitors in tears at the monumental nature of the birthplace of Pride.  The Stonewall Inn is living history juxtaposed with mundane neighborhood appeal.  Come in for history and stay for a two for one happy hour drink with friends you’ve yet to meet.

Saturday, January 20, 2018

Heroin... nah, just Social Media.

Had I been born 5-10 years later than I was, then perhaps I would have been more ingrained with the social media culture.  I would have curated my body and my life to gain likes.  Of course, that would also mean that my late teen years and early 20's would be captured in digital.  There are two sides to everything, I guess.

Instagram

I found myself the other day lamenting that I had not received much buzz on Instagram lately, and I thought that I had better post some more photos.  I looked through the recent photos I had taken on my phone and decided that none of them were particularly good enough to garner the likes I was craving.  Let's make no mistakes, I was definitely craving those likes.  I liked to think that I was above all of that, but in honesty I am not.  I know that the things posted that gather the most attention are food, bodies, and pets.  I decided on a photo of my cat.  I love him dearly, and he is adorable, so it scratches the itch.  The problem here is that I wasn't posting something I liked because I wanted to share a glimpse of my life.  I was solely posting something to get attention.  Granted IG is a tool, and you can use it however you feel like it.  I do not think there is a wrong way to use it.  I just felt cheapened by what I was doing.

I have also changed my username on IG countless times (current one).  I want something that is creative and witty, something that expresses who I am, something that stands out, but doesn't limit my appeal.  I want the perfect, unique gem that will make people like me.  In fairness to myself, I have the best self esteem I have ever had in my life currently.  That does not stop me from wanting more.  That would be like a rich person declining money because they have enough of it...

One of the other issues that I have with Instagram is the faux familiarity that I gain for the people that I follow.  I develop an attachment to this person I have never met.  I feel like I know them.  I know their life.  I know what they are trying to accomplish.  I celebrate their successes with them.  I commiserate in their setbacks.  I am so happy that they nailed that yoga pose, made it to Thailand, beat their own PR at crossfit.  I forget that this person has no idea who I am.  I forget that I only followed this person because they posted an underwear shot and looked like I can never look.  I forget that I have never met this person, and likely never will.  Plot twist:  Since moving to NYC, I have actually met, or at the very least seen in public, several of these people.  Let me tell you, that is a great way to fuel your insecurities.  When you have convinced yourself that these people only exist in some far off fantasy land, and that they are not real, you have comfort.  Then you end up sitting next to one at brunch and chatting about mundane worldly things.  It shatters the illusion.  It brings them out of the internet and into the flesh.  It then makes you reevaluate yourself, and unjustly compare yourself to this fantasy person in the flesh.  Then they start talking about their ex, RandomHOTTY486 on IG, and of course you know all about the breakup because you have followed both of them for years.  You hear that RandomHotty486 left them for some new guy, who you know is DaddyPaysBoysBills15 on IG.  You remain attentive and pretend like you know nothing about this person.  In truth, you don't know anything about this person, but you do know EVERYTHING about this persona.  It's such a bizarre situation to be in.

Facebook

This one will be quick.  When I scroll through FB, I am either barraged with people posting grandiose statements aimed at their personal echo chamber, or statements so riddled with social blunders, and outright bigoted commentary, that I find myself getting frustrated.  I know how fruitless it is to try to involve myself in either of these scenarios, so I scroll past.  Really FB has devolved into the medium that a few friends tag me in memes.

Gruffler

For January of this year, some friends and I deleted our gay dating/hookup apps. One friend did so in an attempt to force himself to connect with people in the real world.  Another did it in order to budget his time in existing relationships versus always looking for the next or most convenient thing.  My reasons were a little different.  I do not like the offerings from those services truth be told.  I am not interested in sex from a vending machine.  I want to know something about a person, before I shed my skin.  I view the apps as an electronic extension of the bars.  I am more or less alone in that viewpoint.  So then I find myself starting conversations that quickly devolve into photo exchanges and then drift back to the obscurity of the internet.  To say that I find that unfulfilling would be a gross understatement.  The saddest part is that every woof, every new message, every unlocked album still floods me with validation.  Someone likes me.  Someone thinks I am sexy.  Some random stranger approves of me.  Then there is the minimal 'interaction' followed by the ghosting, which just makes the entirety of the encounters that much emptier and meaninglesser.  I have met some great people through the apps, and am still friends with a few of them.  Those gems are a minuscule percentage though.

I have watched several of my friends at a bar that see a man that they find attractive and then immediately fire up Gruffler to see if he is on there.  If he is, then they find something in his profile to dismiss themselves with.  If he is not then they decide he is either a weirdo, or straight.  It doesn't matter that he is wearing a hot pink Cum Dumpster crop top.  He is obviously straight.  I have also received a message while I was at a bar, from someone else at the same bar.  The message was asking me if I was at the bar.  When I replied that I was, the guy mentioned that he was also at the bar and that he saw me.  I put my phone away and walked around the bar until I found him, and I said hello. He was terrified.  He had no idea how to interact with a human without the aid of wifi and a keyboard.

I also get super irritated when I am out with friends for a night on the town and every time I look over, they are on the apps trolling for sex.  (I won't even mention the times that I spotted a date that was on the apps...)  Personally I do not understand this.  To me, there is a whole room full of potential people to interact with.  Talk to someone.  Flirt with someone.  Compliment a stranger on their whatever.  I know it may not lead to that exciting tryst with ThoTMasc4MascIhaTemyselFF24, but you might actually make a connection.  The conversation may not go anywhere.  The interaction may not go anywhere.  You might get embarrassed.  He might be with his boyfriend.  NONE of that matters.  The potential connection is all that matters.  Interacting with another soul is what matters.

Hypocrisy

I realize fully that I am writing a blog about the ills of seeking likes and that I will be posting it to my Instagram and my Facebook.  I realize that this is exactly the type of behavior that I am decrying in this post.  Even though I recognize the ills of this system, I am still a participant.  I can not help myself.  I may want to sanctimoniously rise above it all, but in honesty I still crave the attention.  I love the attention.  I love the Nightlife... I want to Boogie... On the Disco ro-ound.